Thoughts on a Friday

This has been a very challenging week, the kind of week I noted in my last post that is designed to make you grateful for the good days, and shake you out of any malaise you might suffer in your daily routine.


Our amazing neighbors had us to their Rhode Island beach house, and watching Tucker navigate a boogey board on the substantial waves for the first time ever was a moment of joy for both of us.


The 1st grade back to school letters arrived, and the familiar anxiety and panic are washing in like waves in the wake of a small sailboat (for me) while Tucker just wants to be sure I have his dinosaur backpack ready (which I do of course).


A week ago the baby started shimmying across the floor in small increments, and today he races across the room in 5 seconds flat. This is of course amazing to witness first hand (and not have to hear about second hand from a caretaker), but also complicates the delicate work from home stasis both me and Tom balance most days.


I gave up wine on weeknights for health (and to help with those extra 3 pounds I cant seem to shake since having Wells this winter), and by Tuesday this week it had already gone out the window as I filled a glass with a nice, earthy Cabernet to pair with my whole food, low sodium, vegetarian dinner.

Thoughts on a Friday

I all but gave up the modified Whole30 diet these last few weeks, as birthday cake, cocktails, and then leftover birthday cake took over.

Being an adult is full of interesting choices, and unexpected feelings. Like being excited for a new roof and new driveway, to the point you actually instruct you husband not to buy you a birthday gift (and actually mean it).

As the school year winds down, despite being much more settled than we were last year at this time when we hadn't even moved yet, I find the familiar crippling anxiety creeping in at night, an unwelcome guest trying to rattle my calm mind with fear about the summer transition for Tucker, and starting another 'new thing' after such a successful year of Kindergarten.

My now 4 month old baby has spent a total of 8 hours in his crib since he was born. Ans these 8 hours were over the span of several weeks. And we are OK with that. Baby cuddles don't last very long after all.

Thoughts on a Friday

My older son is turning 6 in a few weeks, and while people tell me how fast it goes, I'm not sure it feels speedy but it still feels rather incredible that we have managed to feed, clothe, care for, and keep alive another human for 6 years.

Having a second child has filled my soul with so much joy that I cant begin to memorialize it in words. The only rub of sadness comes when I think of my dad, and how he will never meet Wells. This realization feels like a ragged edge of an opened soup can in my chest.

I bought and assembled a 5 piece patio set this week, consisting of an entire outdoor sofa, side chairs, and table. It brought me immense satisfaction, but cost me a manicure and crippling back pain eased only with an extra glass of wine.

Baby Wells slept in his crib for 5 out of 10 of his sleeping hours, 3 nights in a row, and it feels like a victory. But then last night I missed his small head resting on my arm, and decided that not every baby really needs to sleep in a crib all the time.

The only way I could motivate myself to use the gym this past week was with a new Lululemon jacket. We all have our weaknesses.

Thoughts on a Friday

Ok I lied, one more post before I deliver this enormous baby next week.

Last weekend our son who has not had a sick doctor visit in nearly 3 years succumbed to the vicious stomach virus ravaging the east coast. Despite the fact hes over 5 years old now, I still panic like hes a newborn at the sight of him being unwell. This illness necessitated a trip to target on New Years Day to replace both his bedding and ours, and an emergency call to the steam cleaning company to have all rugs and carpets sanitized (which, surprisingly, leaves carpets wet for days. Yes, days). My feet are still soggy from said steam cleaning as I type this at my desk.

Deciding which post-baby plans we can commit to, and which we need to decline is proving to be difficult. I realize I have no idea what to expect at this time next week, but being in the house basically since my hospital admission in November has made me an insane person desperate to do any and everything I can afterwards. Especially things that involve alcohol.

I have now spent more money on new Lululemon jackets, pants and numerous pairs of Nike sneakers than on food, baby supplies, or gas since December. But a pregnant woman needs something to look forward to wearing to the gym, right?

Thoughts on a Friday

My baby app (which I checked this week for the first time since downloading in May) notified me there are just 97 days to go until Baby #2 arrives. Hooray for wine in 3 months!

My hospital bag is actually already packed (with PJs for me, outfits for baby, and all the essentials I could need). Yes, I'm still crazy.

We are having a fetal echo cardiogram today at the hospital because our older son was born with an atrial septal defect, and this is considered genetic. I'm nervous but also know that everything is going to be fine.

I fly to Vegas tomorrow for a work trip lasting less than 48 hours. I'm packing 1 overnight duffel (since I cant really manage even a carry-on sized suitcase by myself right now) with all black everything. And red lipstick.

I am obsessed with my crock pot. I've used it 5 days this week, and I spend more time on Pintrest searching slow cooker recipes than outfit ideas lately. #homemaker

Thoughts on a Friday (Kindergarten edition)

Tucker started Kindergarten yesterday. I spent all day thinking about what he was doing, if he made any friends, if he ate his lunch, if he listened, if he talked, if he laughed, how he'd find his bus when it was time to go home. After attending the orientation the day prior, which was chaotic to say the least, I had a perpetual knot in my stomach making it impossible to eat and difficult to hold back tears that seemed to well and flow at the mere mention of Tucker and school. Watching the other kids run to each other, mothers giving well known hugs to fellow parents and so much familiarity made me deeply sad at the life we left behind. And next came the doubt, questioning why exactly we moved 130 miles away to a place where I still don't really know a single person, am often isolated and alone, and longing for nothing more than simple things like my office and my friends, and the occasional play date for Tuck.

Moving is hard, and we are in month #3. I wish to undo it at least once each week. Friends who made similar large scale moves have said it takes a year. But I fear that will be like when people said it takes 12 weeks for the baby to become easier. I watched the calendar with Tucker back in 2011, willing the days to tick by. And then when it struck the 3 month mark, I wondered what was wrong with me, and why wasn't the magic transition upon us yet as promised?

One day at a time, yes?

Thoughts on a Friday

Since moving to CT from Long Island in June, I have had a really tough emotional time. Yes, I'm 4 months pregnant and that is challenging but really I underestimated how much I'd miss my friends and the social interaction of going to work at my office everyday. In an effort to pull myself out of this (hormone/moving induced) hole, here are some promises I'm making myself:

      Get outside everyday, even if just for 10 minutes to eat a snack on the patio

      Smile when I feel like crying, until it feels like I mean it

      Read a few pages of my new iBook purchases every week day

      Be extra patient with (and grateful for) my 5 year old

      Cook something new each week using at least a few ingredients from one of the many local farms

      Eat ice cream!

Thoughts on a Friday

These have been among the hardest few weeks in recent memory. Moving is hard, and I've questioned why we did this at least daily since we arrived last week. I'm homesick for things that don't exist (my childhood home and two parents), and friends I still talk to everyday.

Dropping your 5 year old off at a day camp where he doesn't know a sole is harder then leaving him at daycare for the first time. I've done both so leave me to my opinion.

Working from home is hard and lonely. But driving over 3 hours each way to my old office is even worse.

I am trying to practice what I preach: This too shall pass.

Thoughts on a Friday

I declined dinner plans tonight because I have 3 new  Bravo episodes on DVR, and nothing is more exciting than Bravo on a Friday.

Did you know Blink182 has a new album available for pre-order on iTunes? Hello 1998, driving my parents car screaming the lyrics to Dude Ranch with my besties.

We are closing on the sale of our Long Island home in 5 days. This morning the garage doors wont close, a gutter fell off and the clothes dryer howls after 5 minutes of use. The house is rebelling. 

Holy homesickness! The sight of packed boxes and empty walls is overwhelming. We haven't even moved yet, this cant be normal, can it?

Thoughts on a Friday

Tonight after work I am meeting some of my Colgate friends for dinner in the west village at 8pm, and it will be the latest I am awake and out of the house in probably 5 years

I spent more money on natural beauty and skin care products this month than on groceries

We have decided to adopt a dog. I hate dirt, mud, rain, loud noises and hair. But we still think this is a good idea.

We leave Long Island and move to Connecticut in 4 weeks. Every time someone cuts me off on the way to work, I curse Long Island and vow never to return. But really, I will be commuting to my NY or LI office once a week. So I need to deal.


My 34th birthday was this past Monday, and it was by far the best one yet. Getting older is awesome, seriously.

Thoughts on a Friday

1. The dining room (pictured above) in the new house is my happy place. I could look at it all day. And the lightning fixture is possibly my favorite part of the entire house. Weird?

2. When Tucker laughs, it quite literally lifts my heart so that its floating above me, no matter what else is going on.

3. Trying to have another baby and not being able to carry one past the early stages is hard, and when people who don't know me well ask why we only have one, or how could we not want more children it actually rips a small tear in my soul. If you know someone with one child or no child, do not ask them why. Perhaps they don't want any. Perhaps they have been trying for 5 years. You just don't know. Offer love, and don't judge.

4. Spring clothes are more fun to buy than winter clothes. And I love winter. This is just a fact.

5. Seriously considering cutting my hair super short again (think Yolanda Hadid on the RHOBH Reunion).

6. When you get angry in the car because someone cut you off, at the grocery store because another shopper is pushing you in line, or at your hubby for leaving his shoes in the doorway and almost killing you when you fall right over them, just sigh, and smile thinking of  a YouTube video of a baby mouse nibbling a cucumber. Or a martini.

Thoughts on a Friday

A few warm thoughts for this chilly Friday


1. After a few mornings of gruesome toddler behavior this week, my always unpredictable son gave me the hugest, tightest hug today and I could have melted into a puddle on the floor.


2. I have been trying desperately to carve out 45 minutes in my workday to run Sephora and pick up a tube of YSL lipstick, but as of yet, have had no success. I am going to have to cancel a conference call next week to make this happen.


3. I found a box of pumpkin flavored Frosted Mini-Wheats cereal on a recent Target run and this made me disproportionately happy.


4. I'm contemplating taking a sick day to assemble a media center we recently purchased to make over our den. I'm actually definitively taking a sick day.

Thoughts on a Friday

The 'no wine on weeknights' rule of my post-Labor Day diet has failed a mere 3 days in.





I spent more on new fall lipstick shades than it would have cost to buy new fall boots.





I went to Starbucks everyday this week for some kind of beverage with pumpkin spice syrup in it. Really, I went more than once each day.





My 4 year old started pre-K this week, and when the bus pulled away I felt intensely sad and overwhelmed with an odd feeling of guilt, remorse and inexplicable longing. This, they say, is motherhood in its truest emotional form.

Thoughts on a Friday

This week, when my 3 year old insisted on not wearing his diaper to school I was overcome with joy. I then proceeded to tell everyone I saw at work, including a client.


Sick of a cabinet filled with mismatched glasses, I finally splurged on a set of Riedel wine glasses. The very night they arrived, my husband broke one and we are back where we started. This made me cry.

A 3 hour time difference is actually a lot when you are now in charge of answering all legal questions from the California office. This also delays my evening wine drinking, which is a problem.

It is March 20, and it is snowing. And today is the day I decided to get the first pedicure I've had in 3 months. Just in time to shove my feet back into snow boots.

I let my 3 year old watch so much you tube that for his birthday, he is fixated on some 'Christmas train' from some video shot by a parent calling their child 'J-Funk'. I would pay any amount of money to locate said train.

Thoughts on a Friday

After spending much of Tucker's early days asking 'when will he...' in reference to various milestones, I have realized that I love this age, and despite all the terrible things people say about the 3's (and our own share of moments when Id like to string him up by his ankles), it is the best age ever and I would like to freeze time now.

I reached a personal milestone this month in my professional life, and I have celebrated adequately with the perfect mix of cocktails, shopping, and time with friends. My credit card can attest to that.

Halloween is my least favorite holiday. I hate dressing up, large amounts of candy, and unruly teenagers. I'd prefer to spend the night on the couch with wine and Bravo.

Despite loving age 3, I really wish I could press a button and have Tucker potty trained this weekend.