April 16, 2014

Sleep Struggles

I am not sure how we got here. I know that we read all the baby sleep books, made good habits, transitioned to a big bed, bought 5 types of white noise machines, bought the expensive overnight diapers, used the nighttime lavender lotion for 'serene and calm'. But alas, here we are. Nearly 3 years old, and I cant remember the last night we slept apart.

It started innocently enough, me wanting to be sure he could breath okay at night, in the weeks leading up to his tonsillectomy. And then of course in the weeks following surgery I needed to comfort him and rub his back as he slept. But now, months later, tot cannot fall asleep alone, nor stay in bed more than an hour without someone there next to him. I find myself watching episodes of modern family (on my iPad, at 8:00 in the dark, crammed into his bed), dreaming of the day he will be grown like Luke and I might return to my large, silk covered tempurpedic matress. 'This too shall pass' echoes in my head, but I cant really see the light at the end of the sleep tunnel. Maybe I'm too tired to think straight, or maybe the constant poking of little legs in my back at 2 am has caught up to me. But all that aside, there is no better way to wake up than to the bright face and pure joy of an almost 3 year old smiling at you, nose to nose. It would just be better if I was actually asleep first. So I'm off for another day, hoping I picked matching shoes in the dark closet as I dress on minimal rest, wishing it was time for bed already.

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